When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
