Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so let's talk penis.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
