it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
