Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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