She's JV to your varsity
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
