it's like iHOP with fire
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
