I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
