Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
