idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I looked at my own cervix.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
