dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
