I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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