just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
