we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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