Nicole vs. Life
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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