you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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