Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
