so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
