you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
