i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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