Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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