Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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