so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
