how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
