we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
