I cockslap morals
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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