About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So many bounce houses so little time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
