I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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