people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
