I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
