Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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