you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize