he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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