Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
