There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
