I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
