You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
