I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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