I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
