Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize