is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
