a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
