I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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