I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
