did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
