You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
