someone get that fucking seahorse.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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