Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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