i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
