alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how do flat chested girls get laid?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
