If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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