sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
