This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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