you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
