So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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