So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
