dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
