Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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