it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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