Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
