Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
