NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
