I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
