And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
