I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
