just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
