Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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