So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
