the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
