ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
