I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
