Do you still have your period?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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