Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
