I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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